A Map Back to Yourself
What’s Yours, What’s Not, and Why It Matters
At this time of year, when our energy is pulled in so many directions, it’s grounding to remember what is truly within our control—and what isn’t. This simple framework has been a touchstone for me. It originated in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and has since been adapted by many teachers in coaching, therapy, and spiritual development.
The 3 Circles of Agency
A spiritual map for living from your Inner Mentor
1. The Circle of Response
(The innermost circle — what is truly yours)
This is the sacred center.
The only place where your full agency lives.
Here reside:
Your response to life
Your breath and presence
Your choices, attitude, behavior
Your boundaries
Your intentions
Your relationship with your Inner Guide
Everything in this inner circle is yours to tend with compassion.
It’s where you meet your life rather than respond to it.
This is the circle that cannot be taken from you — the one place where you are free.
Spiritual reflection:
How do I want to respond, from my deeper knowing, right now?
Where is my Inner Mentor guiding me?
2. The Circle of Influence
(The middle circle — what you can touch but cannot control)
This circle holds the people, situations, and environments you can influence through:
your presence
your listening
your example
your clarity
your boundaries
your energy
But remember:
No matter how skillfully you show up, others still have their own path, their own timing, their own agency. Influence is never force; it is an invitation.
This circle teaches us humility and spaciousness.
Spiritual reflection:
Where am I trying to control what is only mine to influence?
How can I offer my presence without attachment to outcome?
3. The Circle of Concern
(The outer circle — the world beyond your reach)
These are the things that touch your heart and stir your worry, but are not yours to control:
the choices of others
the past
collective upheaval
systems larger than you
outcomes you long for but cannot make happen
In spiritual mentoring, this is the circle where we practice release, prayer, discernment, and boundaries.
We name what is not ours — so we can give our energy back to what is.
However, systems, institutions, weather, and politics are influenced through collective or civic involvement.
Spiritual reflection:
What can I hand back to the larger field—God, Spirit, the Earth, my Ancestors, the Mystery?
What is calling for surrender rather than effort?
How to Use These Circles in Spiritual Practice
Start in the center. Always.
Name what is yours and what is not.
Return your energy to the Circle of Response when you feel pulled outward.
Let the outer circles become teachers rather than stressors.
Host the edges between these circles as thresholds of discernment.
This framework is a reminder that agency is not about controlling life —
it is about responding to life with intention, clarity, and compassion.
