Getting Ready, Part 2

Creating Space for What Matters

To make space for what truly matters or to pack only what we’ll need for the (likely challenging) journey ahead, we must reflect on what no longer serves us—or perhaps never did. It takes a willingness to look inward and unpack what’s weighing us down or keeping us in a negative space. For me, this process centers on building my mental, physical, and spiritual strength. Strength that empowers me to embody the “Dangerous Old Woman,” stirring up good trouble and doing dangerous good.

What Else to Unpack

In the Lojong practice, the 26th slogan (active contemplation) is: “Don’t Ponder Others.” Or sometimes stated as: “Don’t think about the affairs of others.” In Al-Anon, we often remind ourselves to “stay in our own lane.” One thing I am unpacking (again) is the time I give to pondering others. This includes worrying about others, which, in my opinion, often reveals a lack of trust in them to deal with their own lives. Okay, maybe they are stumbling, but that’s their business. Unless they specifically ask for help, and the help itself is specific, let’s stay in our own lane.

Let’s unpack the need or habit of pondering others instead of focusing on our own lives and what is in front of us at the time. In truth, we can only address what is in front of us now.

Who do you tend to ponder? Notice that. How might the pondering of others reflect concerns or inner demons of your own? Can you name a problem you see in another and reflect on how this is something you are concerned about in yourself?

Mainly, let’s practice not pondering others while noticing the benefits.

What to Pack

One valuable item to pack in the space you create by not pondering others is a commitment to what strengthens, uplifts, and fulfills you. Think of it like choosing the right footwear for a journey: well-cared-for feet make for a much more enjoyable trip, while bad shoes can weaken or even harm you. Just as sturdy, comfortable shoes are essential for travel, making room in your daily life for what sustains you is equally important. For me, this means a commitment to a daily walk with my rescue dog, Lulu, yoga four times a week at the local yoga studio, and my morning meditation practice. These are my "shoes," helping me move through life with joy and stability. They deepen my connection to others, enrich my work and writing, and remind me of what truly matters. When life gets difficult, these core practices bring me home—back to my breath, back to my body, and remind me of my place with others and in nature.

Write about a time you packed the wrong shoes.

Contemplate what is essential to your well-being and commit to packing it for this year’s journey.

This theme of what to unpack and pack for this coming year will be offered throughout January as we face many challenges together. Please share your thoughts and intentions for the year. I would love to hear from you.