Touching the Earth

Breaking the Spell of Unworthiness Through Radical Self-Compassion

(This is the final piece on Grounding. Next on the Be The Cause series is on Recognizing Truth from Lies.)

The Story of How Siddhartha Defeated the Final Demon

One of my favorite stories about Siddhartha’s awakening unfolds beneath the pipal tree or sacred fig tree, which became known as the Bodhi tree. Bodhi is a Sanskrit and Pali word meaning awakening, enlightenment, or wisdom. Because Siddhartha awakened beneath that tree, it became known as the Bodhi Tree—the Tree of Awakening.

His intention was to sit there until he fully awakened. As he sat in meditation, drawing closer and closer to awakening, Mara appeared.

Mara is often described as a demon. But in Buddhist psychology, Mara can also be understood as the embodiment of everything that keeps us asleep and feeling separated: fear, clinging, doubt, self-protection, pride, judgment, distraction, unkindness, and attachment to identity.

Here I am at 70 going on 100, and I find this same final demon arriving as I sit under my own Bodhi tree. As I walk through my life.

I find these internal demons are often brought to the surface by a Troublemaker. Someone comes along and takes on the role of Mara. Triggers us. Pokes at our insecurities. Or is simply being themselves, but brings out something in us that we may later regret. And that may keep us feeling separate and even isolated.

When we are mindful enough, we can see these Troublemakers as necessary to keep us on the path — and even to wake us up. We can be present with them as we are for all the things we favor.

While Siddhartha sat under the Bodhi tree, throughout the night, Mara brought one challenge after another. Before Mara presented Siddhartha with his final challenge, he tried many other ways to keep him from awakening, from feeling a sense of belonging. First came fear—armies of demons, storms, darkness, and terrifying visions meant to drive him from his seat under the tree. When fear failed, Mara turned to desire and temptation, sending distractions in the form of comfort and longing. He then tempted Siddhartha with the easier path, inviting him to abandon his efforts and return to a life of comfort and certainty. Mara also appeared as pride and self-importance, encouraging attachment to identity and spiritual achievement. Throughout it all, Mara manifested as restlessness and distraction—the endless stream of thoughts, fantasies, memories, and worries that pull us away from the present moment. Only when all these strategies failed did Mara reveal his most powerful weapon: doubt. Not fear of failure, but the deeper question of worthiness. Who do you think you are to awaken? It is this final challenge—the voice of unworthiness—that I believe brings out the underlying shame we carry and want to be free of.

Can be free of.

This final demon challenged me recently, even at this late stage of life, the belief that I don’t deserve true and lasting love, or that what I have will be taken from me.

This final demon confronts you with:

“Who do you think you are to believe you can awaken?”

It is a question many of us know well.

Who do you think you are to heal?

Who do you think you are to write the book?

Who do you think you are to speak your truth?

Who do you think you are to be loved?

Who do you think you are to live the life that calls to you?

This is the voice that touches our shame, our secrets, and our deepest sense of unworthiness.

Who do you think you are to even want awakening, let alone trust it can happen?

When faced with this final demon, Siddhartha did not argue.

He did not defend himself. He did not try to prove Mara wrong.

He sat with all this, witnessing it all.

Siddhartha did not argue with himself.

Instead, Siddhartha reached down and touched the earth. This gesture is called the Bhumisparsha Mudra — the Earth-Touching Gesture.

He called the Earth itself to witness the countless acts of compassion, generosity, courage, and practice that had brought him to this moment.

The Earth responded with a great rumble.

The ground shook.

And Mara disappeared.

Not because he lost an argument, but because the spell of unworthiness had been broken. He remembered his goodness and invited the earth to witness this.

And the earth did.

We, too, can touch the earth as we remember all the acts of love, courage, generosity, and kindness we brought to others.

I am grateful for Mara's recent appearance in my life because it gives me the opportunity to touch the earth and remember. And it gives me a clear path to my full awakening.

He arrived with doubt. As the need to be appreciated. As the longing to be seen and understood. As the fear that perhaps I have not done enough, given enough, loved enough. This final Mara, for me, contains the part of me that needs to be reassured, acknowledged, and shown appreciation by others for what I’ve done.

He arrived because I forgot my own goodness.

He arrives in your life because you forget yours.

For a long time, there was part of me that thought freedom would come when others finally understood me, appreciated me, or reflected my worth back to me.

But every time I look outside myself for reassurance, Mara is waiting.

The earth does not ask me to prove my worth.

The trees do not ask me to earn my belonging.

The river does not ask whether I have done enough.

They simply receive me.

Perhaps awakening truly takes place when we learn to do the same. To receive ourselves as we are.

I realize now that my freedom and awakening depend on radical self-compassion.

The highest form of peace is having no attachment to being seen, validated, recognized, or even understood by anyone. To do things simply for their own sake.

Instead, we — may I — live fully in the joy of being love, being compassionate, being quiet, being generous, and leave it at that.

Leave it at that.

That can be difficult in these times of “likes” and “online followers.”

I say, bring it on, Mara — because I intend and deserve the freedom of peace.

✍️ Writing Prompt

Write about your inner demon, your Mara. Name it, as I did here.

☸️ Active Contemplation

When I remember that I will age, become ill, lose everything and everyone I love, and die — these are called the Five Remembrances — what helps the heart awaken right now?

What is important to you right now?

What matters?

What wants your attention?

🌎 Contemplative Action

Every day, touch the earth.

Do the Bhumisparsha Mudra — the Earth-Touching Gesture — and sit in remembrance of your goodness.